Hello, my
name is Billy and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion
F'ing chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe, if you
send them on, a poor wee six-year-old girl in Scotland with a breast on
her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed
before her redneck parents sell her to a travelling freak show.
And, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give $1,000 to
you, and everyone to whom you send 'his' email?
How stupid are we?
Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get
laid by a model I'll just happen to run into the next day!
What a bunch of bullshit.
Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and
kill
me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by St
Peter in 5AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrim stowaways on
the Endeavour.
Maybe Hone F'ing
Heke will be reincarnated and chop down down your F'ing flagpole if you
don't pass on a letter that he never could have F'ing read in the first
place.
F Them!!
If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly
amusing.
I've seen all the 'send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this
poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel
from some omniscient being' forwards about 90 times. I don't F'ing care.
Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually
contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's our own
unpopularity.
The point being?
If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or
luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.
If it's funny, send it on.
Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in
Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the arse of a dead elephant
for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll
receive if you forward this email.
Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your
underwear will turn carnivorous and... well, look out.
Have a nice day.
Billy Connolly.
PS Send me 15 bucks and then F off.
_____________________________________________________
This public service - trying to eliminate chain emails - has been brought to you by Bill's Fun Pages.